Show Not Tell Writing!..

SHOW NOT TELL!...

Angry!..

Emily Started to roll her eye's. A red started to appear on her face. She would go into her room, punch her face on her pillow and start to scream.  As her sister Laura came to apologize Laura could hear Emily stomp her feet and slammed the door in front of Laura’s Face.

Nervous!..

Keri’s palm’s started to sweat. Doubts started to appear in her mind. She felt like running away from her netbook trial but she knew is she did she will be ready. The teacher who was taking the netball trial called Keri to go on the court because it’s her turn. Goosebumps started to grow on her skin

My Writing Sample

Walking down the street all I could hear were whispers coming in one ear and out the

other but I turned around and no-one was there. All I keep hearing was “ Help help

Someone get me out of here”. I ran fast like a fox back home to tell my Mum “ Mum

Mum when I was walking I could hear someone asking me to help them”. Mum replied

in a calmly way “ It was just your imagination don’t worry.

I thought my Mum was right but late at night I heard a whisper again “ Help help

Someone get me out of here”. I was having strange flashes in my head and seeing pictures of me in a dark room hanging on the wall.  In the morning I had breakfast and went for a walk down

my street. I went to the same place I heard the whisper coming from.I stood there to

see if the whisper was going to come back and it did but that whisper didn't say the

same thing the whisper said“ Help help Shanikqua please can you help me ” (My eye’s

went big and I was scared.) I turned around but I couldn't see anyone so I looked at

the house that was at the back and saw something strange from the inside.

So I open the gate and walked slowly like a turtle to go and see where the noise was

coming from. As I got near the door slowly open so I stood to see who was opening the

it but no-one was there. As I walked into the house I could hear people walking around

so I went upstairs to see if anyone was there but as I got upstairs someone grabbed

me with their muscled arms wrapped around my neck and started to choke.  They put me into a room and locked me in so I screamed and screamed but no one could hear me. When I stopped screaming I looked around the room and all I saw were pictures of me. As I was thinking to myself “why are there pictures of me” my heart was beating and I panicked.   I got even more scared then I was before so I kicked the door then I heard someone coming up

near the room.

Someone was standing by the door so I walked away from the door and sat in the

corner of the room. As The door open someone put a tray of food in the floor and

closed the door but I didn’t eat it I just wanted to go home and be safe. I could feel my

phone in my pocket of my jumper so I grabbed it out and called my Mum “ Mum can

you help me someone had lock me in a room and I don’t know where I am” I said in a

scared voice”. “Shanikqua Where are you I hope you're safe I will get the police to

track the phone so they can find you ok” As my Mum said. I hang the phone up and when my Mum got to the police station she rang me and the police could track my phone. “ Hello Shanikqua I have justed tracked your phone so we will be at the place

you’re at to get you out of there ok” As the police Responded to me. “Ok”.

I sat quietly in the room that I got locked in and suddenly I heard the police’s so I was

happy but Scared at the same time. When I heard the door open all I saw was my

Mum’s head pop so I ran to her and gave her a big hug. As I walked down the stairs

the police caught the man who locked me up and took him to jail. Before they left they put a lock on the door of the house so no-one else could get in.

net books

At the start of the year,year 5 and up got net books.Now it is the end of the year we are doing are reflection about the positive and negatives.

The best thing I like about my net book is that we get to go on Internet and play games.Also we can upload games to play.But the one thing I really really like is that we can chat to our friends on our on our own Google docs.The things that I like to do at school on my net book is that I like playing on math whizz and Xar math.I think that I have improved more in my math.

The thing I don’t like about net books is that the Internet is slow sometimes.Also people go on to something that they are not allowed to go on like face book and bebo. But overall net books are better than pencil and paper because your hand gets tired and hurts when you write with pencils. You don’t get tired writing on key boards.Also I would really miss all the fun things I have been doing. It makes school more interesting.

My Holiday

In the holiday I went to to the movies with my mum and my aunties kids. My mum paid for the movie tickets and my auntie got the food drinks and the ice cream. We were watching the 3D movie Rio. It was so freaky because it was coming near us. I said to my cousin “It’s coming near us” and she said “I am scared”.
We were in room 3 and that’s how old my little sister is. 2 adults came and 7 kids came. My aunties kids names are Portia, Jade and their two sisters, (I don't know their names.) My mum’s kids are Leylani, Leon’e and me. When the movie finished we were playing in the games room. Then we left the movie. Thanks for reading.